May 20. My daughter Naomi was in an accident… she drowned. This picture was taken 36 days later. On May 21 we were told our daughter would possibly not survive the next two days, if she did, she would likely need long term medical care. Today, 40 days after the accident, she is coming back. She laughs. Smiles. Plays “high five” now. Activates the toys in rehab when asked too. She is not talking yet, walking yet, or eating by mouth yet. What she is doing is learning again, more every day. Loves to snuggle with her momma. Loves seeing her daddy walk into the room, as she breaks into huge smiles. Loves to cuddle with the stuffed animals crowding her bed. Gets mad when a nurse comes in because she thinks it’s gonna hurt. This little girl, whose middle name happens to be Faith, has taught more people more about God and inner character than I ever would have thought possible… me included. God saw fit to spare the life of our baby… because… people would be drawn closer to Him? ‘Cause people would come to know Him? People with faith already there would experience renewal. People without faith would have yet one more chance to learn what God is. How he controls life and death and love, and grace, and mercy. How He could teach a “worship pastor” what true dependence costs… and what true dependence pays.
True dependence costs all that I am. My heart, my soul. My everything. It’s where real faith lives. It’s where we can lay it all down, and know that it will all be OK. What does it pay? Peace. Prosperity. Blessing. Grace. Mercy. Honor. Power. It is wisdom. It is the ability to stand and see that which does not exist yet, and speak life into circumstance because I know… It’s the ability to know what God has spoken to you and then you speak it into being, not because you wish it, but because you know it. Naomi will be OK, thanks to God, a million times over. My crying days have just started… Not just ended, because now I’m broken by the fact that if it weren’t for Jesus, breathing life and wisdom and fire and FAITH, I would never have know her smiles again… not after May 20.